When you notice that your family has an uncooked salami in the fridge, and you have a hankerin’ for a big piece of meat. You insert said sausage into the vaginal orifice and pleasure yourself. About a week later, when you notice you have an infection, you tell your parents that the sausage they ate for dinner a few nights earlier was in fact the same sausage which you used for your masturbation needs.
Girl 1: Why weren't you at school?
Girl 2: I accidentally gave my family "The Epstein".